How To Avoid Being An Ass On Twitter (and every other social networking site too)

Posted October 22, 2008

how to know if youre a jackass on twitter 300x300 How To Avoid Being An Ass On Twitter (and every other social networking site too)Wouldn’t you want to be notified the moment you’ve offended someone – simply because you didn’t know the rules?

This weekend, my girl and I had a little vacation in Barre, MA. At one point, we got into this thing and then she turned to me and said “You’re being an ass.”

Most folks around us keep their mouth shut and just withstand the pain. They figure, “He’ll stop talking soon and then hopefully we’ll never meet again.”

This is no difference on Twitter

I’m just as guilty as on Twitter for unknowingly making a blunder. Last week, Michael Martine posted an article called “The Top 5 Mistakes Internet Marketers Make on Twitter”, which received over 40 comments; my favorite of which is this one:

“@Franswaa:

The funny thing about it is that if you spend a couple hours researching ‘twitter’ before you start to use it you will find loads of information on ‘how to use twitter’ …that you need to: 1) Be human 2) Add value 3) Don’t take take take“

Seven ways to measure (and minimize) any potential “assness”:

  • Do you have a large number of people unfollowing you? Take a quick scan of how many followers you had last week vs. today (use Quitter to save time tracking these stats). Are they dropping off because there wasn’t a good match to begin with? Did they get bored with your IMeMine?
  • Are most of your tweets about you? Social networking is NOT about you and 1,000 other people. It’s about you and ONE other person. Read the posts of other users – really get to know them. Then ask yourself: “What does this person need that I can help out with?”
  • Do you autofollow people immediately with a message about you? “Nothing tells people you don’t care quite like this move does” wrote Michael. As soon as I read this, I blushed and reconfigured my TweetLater settings. Now I try to spend more time writing a personal note when someone follows.
  • Don’t select “Welcome Digest Tweet” within Tweetlater. It will publish posts that say: “Welcome @Joeblow, @MaryJane, @ThisLittlePig, @LittleBowPeep, @LostSheep, @YourNameGoesHere.” This is a yet another way of saying, “I would take the time to welcome you, but I really don’t give a crap…”
  • What kind of replies are you getting? Click on the @Replies link and read the type of replies you’ve gotten. How many folks retweet your posts? How many folks said “thanks”? How many folks weren’t happy (ouch)? Again, how valuable is your contribution to the community?

    • twitter reply2 How To Avoid Being An Ass On Twitter (and every other social networking site too)

  • How often do you direct message with other Twitter folks? Sending private messages lowers your chances of alienating others who have nothing to do with the tweet. How often do you DM “thanks” or “sorry to hear about your Dad”?  And what is the quality of DMs you receive?
  • How many of your tweets are automated? What percentage of your posts are automated (Twitterfeed, Twitter Updater, TweetLater. Automation can add a lot of value, but should never replace being an active member of the community. Are most of your posts thoughtfully typed by you?

See where we’re going with this?

All these points revolve around a single social media law: Sincerely seeking to create value for another, without expecting anything in return, ends up creating an ROI beyond anything one could produce with IMeMine.

What do you think?

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  • Another excellent post - I continue to learn from you, John. I was especially guilty of automated tweets - frankly I am super busy and the automated tweets allowed me to minimize my Twitter time. Unfortunately it also turned people off (I discovered one long-time follower had unfollowed me for that very reason) and, while I still schedule a number of tweets (usually links to others' blog posts of interest to my field as well as links to my own new posts, and inspirational quotes [I'm in nonprofit development & believe that those folk need all the inspiration that they can get]), I've cut down on them considerably & spend some time every morning and afternoon in direct interaction.

    I would, though, love to hear your thoughts on efficiently maximizing the benefits of Twitter without being a Twitter addict ... :)
  • Pamela - I'm a big believer in automation, as long as people come first. There are many creative ways of using automation that I'll be writing about next week. ;-)
  • How To Avoid Being An Ass On Twitter (and every other social networking site too)
    http://bit.ly/LLvi
  • @Hala - Ask @chrisbrogan or @problogger. On a practicality scale of 1-100 (100 being very practical), I'd say 125.
  • Practically speaking, there is no way to follow 100 people let alone 10,000.

    So, how practical is Twitter for marketers?
  • Reading: "How To Avoid Being An Ass On Twitter (and every other social networking site too)" ( http://tinyurl.com/6g7pda )
  • I'll try to check that one out. As for Bowling Alone, I was forced to read it for school and it was one of the larger books we had to read that semester.

    Again, thanks for the post.
  • @Brian - I read half of Bowling Alone - he has another book called "Better Together" that I read.
  • Hi John,

    Great post. I came late to the party but I'm learning. I hope I've added value to a few people already. I'm a picture book writer and have been looking up "picture books." I added one writer who thought she was twittering to herself. She was thankful. I added another who added me in return who runs a book club. She asked a question about picture books and I provided my answer.

    I've replied to a few others hoping I was adding value. Who knows?

    Again, thanks for your help. By the way, have you ever read the book, "Bowling Alone" by Putnam?

    Talk to you later,
    Brian
  • Thank you for these insights on bad manners. I'm new to twitter and broke every rule the last 3days of using it a lot. Just puking on people. Better learn now than later. I'm glad my good friend sent me this post of yours.
  • Waywardmedic,

    Sounds like you got more out of it when you started with a goal.

    I notice that your blog has a lot of really tasty-looking recipes! Have you connected with other like-minded bloggers about trading guest posts and recipes?

    Just a thought.

    John
  • I've been using Twitter to get to know people that were already in my chosen profession. As a student I was seeking advice, tips, support, to see what other people in different countries were doing. Twitter has been more that just the sum of its parts, I've made good friends and connected with people that I wouldn't have normally bumped into in my day to day life.

    I started off my being a "twit ass" though, sending off tweets left and right without thought. I wasn't getting anything out of it, go figure. So I followed some highly-regarded twitterers, to discover they provided informative, humorous, meaningful tweets.

    Some learning happened that day. Still an ongoing process though.

    I do get annoyed at those that simply use the service to promote their products or their new website.
  • Well, let me ask you this:

    If there was no internet at all, how would you expect to develop business relationships?

    Automation is to support our efforts at building relationships - not replace them!

    John
  • I am starting to see why Twitter isn't doing anything for me. All my tweets are automated right now, I need to start engaging, 1 on 1, with people who follow me.
  • @Rebecca,

    There's also this great democratic thing about Twitter. For example, @ZapposSellsFur campaigned on twitter. As a result of this effort (among other efforts), Zappos recently removed all products made with fur.

    Now, the point I'm making here isn't about fur - it's about how the power of the people is manifested via technology. That's yet another way to "add value" as Colby suggests.

    John
  • @Giovanna - We all make "ass twitts" in the beginning. It's a fact of life. You learn from (yours) and other's mistakes.

    I agree with Chris's comments about not getting Twitter the first time round. I confess I even wrote my own blog post talking about what a waste of time it was, then I gave it a second chance and started to see how people were interacting and engaging with each other and was hooked.

    I've even begun to see brands starting to use it better than many of us. For example @Zappos held a promotion to give away shoes based on selecting a random follower who was able to get a specific number of their friends to follow them.

    I began to see how this form of social media could facilitate the exchange of information faster and more efficiently than blogs (which you have to search, or know what you're looking for to find) and Facebook (which I'm not likely to friend people whom I don't know - or haven't tweeted with).

    Twitter has become about more than just networking or sharing/exchanging ideas and thoughts - if used correctly, it's also about helping each other.
  • John,

    Thank you, for sharing all of these important information about the right way to use twitter. I have been using it for almost 3 months. I am getting better at understanding how to connect with people on twitter everyday. I hope I did not make too many "ass twitts" in the begining. I am glad I read this post.

    Thank You.

    Giovanna
  • Amy,

    Thanks for your comment.

    Interestingly, your post today titled "The Presence of Absence, and other stories" (which I think is a brilliant title) promotes 7 other people - just like in my math formula!

    John
  • John, I agree with what you said regarding it's all about the folks using the technology. As Chris said, when I first heard about Twitter (before I had used it) I too thought Twitter would be a waste of time for professionals. I could easily see how I would be drawn into it for my own personal use (because I have a crack-addict-like personality), but I had a hard time seeing how my clients (primarily lawyers, but a few non-profits) would use it to network. Boy was I wrong.

    Anything can be a waste of time. Email can be a waste of time. Phone calls. Meetings. (Ever sat in a room of twenty lawyers whose billable rates exceed $500/hr for a practice group video-conference where all you learn during the hour is "wear a napkin before eating spaghetti at a video-conference"?)

    It's all about finding the right way to make it work for you, then utilizing it in a way that'll help you connect with folks. (In my vision, autoresponders and such don't really work into that.) Then taming yourself into carving out a certain portion of time to put it to good use. Of course, the option will always be there to sit on it and goof off for hours -- something I do regularly -- but that's a choice. The choice to turn it off is also there. :-)

    Great discussion, John. Enjoyed the post also, of course!
  • @Jessica - See? I didn't know that Pandas were in such a rush. You learn something new everyday, I guess.

    @Chris - You said "it’s people in conversation, you get the good and the bad." Reminds me that, even when we're new at Twitter (or whatever else is going to come down the pike in six months), it all comes back to what kind of person we choose to be.

    @Colby - I really like your idea about the Twitter Community Participant. It makes me think about the philosophy that folks like Chris (above), Michael Martine and Frank Warren are about: You get more bang from social media when you focus on "adding value" for others.

    Sometimes this "law of social media" is hard for me to grasp (especially if I use my brain), until I think of it in terms of a spiritual math equation:

    <ul>
    Me + adding value to only me = 1X value that I gain in return
    Me + adding value to 7 other people = 7X value that I gain in return</ul>



    Obviously a gain of 7 in return is better than 1. But (and here's the crucial point), it takes TRUST to put my own agenda aside in order to create value for others. TRUST in the karmic "law of social media."

    Does this make sense? Have I been smoking too much weed? :-)

    John
  • Great post and great comments too! Your note about automated tweets is specially apt.

    Another thing that I look for in a quality Twitterpal is a fair smattering of @reply tweets: if I follow this person, is he/she likely to engage in two-way conversation with me? If I look back a few pages and don't see any back-and-forth talking happening, I'm not likely to follow that person.

    I also agree with Rebecca's comment above - Twitter is much more fun with the occasional burst of assery to keep things interesting. :D

    I found that as I became increasingly familiar with Twitter I moved through a sort of "life cycle" where I felt like I played a different role in different phases of becoming a community member. I actually wrote a post about it here. Nowadays I mostly try to stick with "add value" as my motto - nice to see that mentioned in this article.

    Keep the great posts coming!
  • When I first discovered or heard about Twitter I thought it was lame, waste of time, yada yada. It was only when I gave it a second chance it clicked. For me it is like a virtual water cooler, plus focus group, plus support group, plus IRC, plus instant tech support line .... it's people in conversation, you get the good and the bad, but it depends who you follow and how you use it :)
  • @Georjina - Thanks for joining us here!

    "I think many of us can get tunnel vision when it comes to the internet."


    Very good point. When I started on Twitter, I was like: "Hmm... let's see... maybe I should do what THAT person's doing... a lot of people are doing it, so I guess it's the thing to do. After all, I am in Rome."

    John
  • Hello John,
    This will help a great deal when I finally do something with my Twitter account. You've stated very well the same idea I posted on my blog for those using any social networking site - don't be an idiot.

    It's unfortunate that those who could benefit the most make serious blunders, all because they are fascinated with the technology. I think many of us can get tunnel vision when it comes to the internet.

    With that said, we also must be aware (as noted in Rebecca's comment) that there are real people reading what we write.
  • Three months! Can I get that in writing? Yowza! A panda could potentially get knocked up and have babies in that amount of time! It boggles my mind.

    I do like the analogy of the rock concert. That helps crystallize it a tad, albeit very tiny, bit more. Anything to keep from being the twit on Twitter!

    Thanks, guys.
    Jessica
  • @Frank -
    "I guess what it means on Twitter is that we need to ‘connect’ with people who have common interests."


    That's exactly what community is! Twitter is like going to a rock concert with a few friends: You're picking up AND contributing to the whole mass of people in the audience. At the same time, you're creating a direct back-and-forth with your friends.

    In this way, Twitter provides two powerful things that no other medium has:

    1 - A "macro" sense of a person in the hundreds of tweets to and from that person (kinda like a blog)
    2 - A "micro" connection through direct communication (kinda like IM)

    @Jessica - You'll have Twitter down in 3 months - just stay involved and seek to help people out. Direct message me with questions - what's your twitter ID?

    Take care, you two!

    John
  • @Frank - Excellent list of Twitter everything! I am currently ganking bookmarks from your page and saving them on mine. I am completely clueless about Twitter (and feel like I am still doing it wrong) but I am trying to figure it out.

    @John - Thanks for keeping me from screwing up! Great tips AND entertaining! Huzzah!
  • I think all humans share common needs, but at different points in life those common needs are not all in line with everyone else ...

    Simple example ... sticking with Twitter ... a few months back i really got into Twitter so one of my 'needs' was to find people and resources that could help me know the world of Twitter better.

    Another good example is a couple who just got married vs. a couple who just had their 1st kid. they have a common need in marriage, but the couple with a kid now has a new need that the other one doesnt share (but one day might share).

    I guess what it means on Twitter is that we need to 'connect' with people who have common interests.
  • @Elizabeth - I'm glad you got started! Let me know if I can help in any way.

    @Frank - Thanks for the comment (both comments). Great list of info on your delicious page. I especially like The Six Signs That Twitter Isn't For Your Nonprofit"
    One thought, Frank: Does there need to be a seperation between our needs and what others need? Are they really two things?

    John
  • hey John ...

    thanks for the shout out. The topic of how to 'be' on Twitter or how to 'use' it very much interests me. i've been diggin' around the internet for a few months now trying to find what people are saying. There's some good stuff out there. I've bookmarked things that have been useful to me here:

    http://delicious.com/franswaa/twitter

    I will say that it takes effort and time to be 'good' at participating on Twitter. It may be simple to just tweet what you have going on during the day ... but that may not be adding value ... so the balance of being human .... and being valuable to others is the magic middle ground.

    ps. like i said on Twitter ... i love what ya got goin' on here on your blog!

    ---
    http://twitter.com/franswaa
  • John,

    Thanks for these tips. I'm new to Twitter and still getting used to the fact that people other than my brother and closest friends are following me. The thought that I can use it to actively post short, succinct bits of useful information is terrific! I can't wait to get started. In fact, I just did. Thanks again.
  • Rebecca,

    You are right on (and not just because you agreed with me)!

    I haven't figured out why people "lose" their common sense online, but I think it has something to do with not understanding the technology... and therefore just doing what others do, without thinking it through.

    For example, when I started using Twitter, I noticed that other people auto-replied with their own website. Being new, I started doing that as well (unknowingly exercising my "assness"). Then, when I was on the receiving end of those messages, I found that they turned me off.

    John
  • John,

    It's funny that when you actually stop to think about these bits of great advice - whether from your or Michael for example, they really are for the most part common sense.

    I think our eagerness to love technology allows us to forget that there is a person behind not only our keyboard, but viewing the browser of where are tweets are being posted.

    If we all stopped to think about what we said before we said it and the impact of what that statement might mean to someone else - whether it is verbally or through a technological device I think there'd be a whole lot fewer asses. But then again, where's the fun in that? At least that will create some sort of conversation, right? :p
  • Kelley,

    You are very welcome. Have you seen the CommonCraft videos on Twitter, LinkedIn and so forth?

    Go here: http://www.commoncraft.com

    John
  • Kelley Mitchell
    Thanks John, for this funny take on Twitter etiquette.

    Kelley
  • Brad,

    Thanks for the comment, but I respectfully disagree. These points have nothing to do with Twitter, or technology.

    It's always about the person behind the keyboard, which we sometimes forget.

    John
  • brad.storch
    Wow, thanks for this list. This really has opened my eyes to how things should be done. I probably knew it already and I had thought it before, but this list has confirmed that Twitter is a sucky time sink which is put to the most useless uses possible. It's attention whoring made extremely efficient. A way of saying "People! Look at me and what I am doing." It's truly pathetic.
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